Guest Rec - BornonHalloween

“Guest Rec? At TU? ME?? Um…”

Yeah. True story.

Then naelany talked me down from the ledge and encouraged me to be myself. (She clearly doesn’t know me that well!) Let’s start with a confession. I do not read very much anymore since I’ve become obsessed with writing.  So if I’m reading it, you KNOW it’s something I can’t do without. What “floats my boat” right now? Fantastic writing and then…something original.

Take Kitkat681’s Fatty, for starters. Keeping up with this woman’s writing is utterly impossible (I got hooked with From My Window), so right now I’ve got it winnowed down to “just” two:  Down & Derby (a foul-mouthed roller derby girl meets Medical Examinerward over a concussion) and Fatty. “Fattyward”, weighing in at an alarming 363 pounds, decides one day he’d like to see his penis again. So he books an appointment at the gym with Trainerella, and thus, they meet. Kitkat’s irreverent frankness leads to descriptions such as ‘skin like Silly Putty all stretched out and spilling over my pants.’ More often than not, the words ‘GROSS’ and ‘PERFECT’ appear in my reviews, because she’s both, and you’ll love it. This story is funny, poignant, sweet, and punch-to-the-guts honest, but it’s also something more.  Kitkat has started a support group on Facebook for readers wishing to “get healthy along with Fattyward”… and her own commitment is inspiring. Kitkat’s writing is genius, but there’s a whole lot more going on.

In the spirit of Twislash, my next rec is for Cocoalvin’s one-HUNDRED-word drabble chapter, mystery slash Insomnia and its sequel Early Bird. Coco somehow brilliantly managed to keep all of us in the dark until the 100th (and FINAL) chapter of Insomnia as to which character was telling the story. All we knew was that it was an E/J slash and one was the other’s boss. The mystery wasn’t some cheap gimmick to hook you, it was real, and she was devilishly tricky, and the intrigue added an extra layer upon an already captivating story. Early Bird retells the story in one-THOUSAND-word (yes, exactly) chapters from the opposite POV, allowing Coco to bring in all the richness of an opposing POV as well as the depth afforded by the longer chapters. I can’t tell you more without ruining it, but I can give you a little glimpse as to the beauty of the intimate scenes:

He stills over me, allowing his body time to adjust. The intimacy of his forehead against mine, our breaths steady but tempered, is sublime. So many of my past trysts have been anonymous. They have been release and nothing else, but not this, not him.
He begins to rise and fall above me, his hands holding my shoulders for support. I watch his face as he fucks himself on me. His eyes are glazed and his skin is flushed…
He is perfect.

Mmm, Coco, that’s just what I was thinking. Whether you’re reading a 100- or 1000-word drabble, the language never feels forced into the format.

You want to talk originality? Check out jenjiveg’s profile and then try and name a more versatile writer! She’s written fanfic in the form of drabble-like poetry, spicy online chat dialogue, and most recently, the “Twabble”. Oh, you’re unfamiliar with the term? Here’s jenjiveg’s definition:

twabble [twa buhl] noun a collection of tweets that tell a story. verb to sit in a toilet (alt practice room, restaurant, rehearsal, meeting, etc.) and write smut in 140 characters or less. Origin: 2011 twitter + drabble.

Hear the tongue firmly implanted in her cheek? Yeah, that’s the snarky, unapologetic voice you’ll come to know and love. Jenjiveg’s one-shot poly Catching the Train will leave you panting and Unprofessional will forever change the way you do laundry, but her flagship story is Inappropriate Touching. This hilarious and intensely moving story pairs OCDward with an equally complicated and socially inept Bella. With the most emotionally intelligent Dr. Cullen you’ll ever meet helping the two work things out, I have every confidence they will succeed!

Beyond the original premise and the crisp writing, what makes this story even more unique? Jenjiveg recognized that many of our fanfics are set in modern-day NYC, and she decided to do something about it. And sure, I’m partial, but how cool is it that her OCDward actually bumps into my Once Upon a Desire Bella AND Edward on the street one day? I mean, who DOES that, outside of a Michael J. Fox movie?

What else is new? How about a brand new author breaking right out of the box with a compelling and laughing-out-loud-funny story? Last Call by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy is one of the most frustrated Edwards in fanfic, and sorry, Edward, but your misery is HIGHLY entertaining! I mean, look how the poor guy wakes up in the morning: “GODDAMMIT!” I scream out to the universe and throw the pillow off my head.” And later in the day, things haven’t gotten much better for him: “Hello headache, we meet again.” Apparently, Isabella was an absolute, entitled bitch to Edward when he served as the family’s summer cabana boy on the Jersey shore. Despite “something” that happened between them, Edward finally swore off all things Isabella all those years ago out of self-preservation. ‘I couldn’t take another year of watching Isabella bitch, moan and boss me around which, while repulsive, still did nothing to quell the gravitational pull she had over me. It was fucking torture. It was like offering myself up to be filleted every year.’

So what an awful surprise when she shows up years later in HIS bar with absolutely no memory of that time of her life. He, however, has NO problem remembering how she treated him, and wants nothing to do with her. A darn shame then, when Edward finds out his brother has just HIRED her to fill a desperately –needed server position in his restaurant. Amnesierella has no clue why this “delicious, beautiful, crabby Mr. Hottie Not-So-Nice” is treating her like a giant wad of bubble gum stuck to his favorite pair of loafers. Maybe it’s because she’s making him rethink his engagement. Yeah, it’s messy. To make matters even more interesting, Edward has a brother named James (I totally dare you not to like this guy) who develops a romantic interest for Bella King, who turns out to be none other than Edward’s nemesis, torturing the poor guy even further. Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy has a fresh voice, a sense of humor that’ll catch you by surprise, and an endearing habit of sprinkling in pop culture references from the 70’s and 80’s (Starsky and Hutch appear in the newest chapter) along with little phrases like Nanney-Nanney-Boo-Boo to keep you chuckling throughout. But the peak of hilarity occurs in a scene of mistaken identity à la Abbott and Costello that will bring your belly to its knees with laughter.

There’s another new-ish voice on the scene. I qualify it because Amber1983 wrote a Host fanfic a couple years back, but The Search is her first Twific, and it’s superb. That’s not a word I use often, but her completely endearing yet complicated Britishward uses all kinds of colorful language (my favorite so far being ‘tosspot’). Amber hails from the UK so the highly entertaining dialect comes naturally, but beyond that, she has an ear for the lyrical, resulting in gifts such as this: ‘His tone is both rough and smooth at once, like sweet honey being drizzled over jagged rocks.’ and also this: ‘He is charming, funny and smooth as cut glass but he doesn’t let a single soul inside.’ Sound like an Edward you’d like to know better? Trust me, he is. Of course, you might end up with the same fate as Bella: ‘He strides over and my heart feels like it may actually punch out of my chest and lay fluttering on the floor between us.’ OUCH! Luckily, Edward realizes that his newly transferred assistant Bella is not the stereotypical American Jasper expects to show up: “Blonde, tan and fantastic big knockers coming your way then.” To which Britishward wins my American heart by responding, “J, not all Americans look like Baywatch extras, you racist prick.” Indeed she does not, (ahem, nor do I) but he does recognize her charms. So much so that he eventually warns her, "Show me your room, Bella," he whispers brokenly. "Before I lose my mind completely and take you here in the hall." *Fans self*

This story is wrought with crazy UST that I’m pretty sure will be RST. Amber’s writing voice is new and original, and you’ll root for these two, along with their well-drawn friends.

So what’s new about theladyingrey42 writing a story that owns me and everyone I know? Nothing, really. BUT, how many fanfics have increased my knowledge of Quantum Mechanics? Just String Theory. It’s no secret (if you happen to peruse my favorites) that TLIG pretty much had me at "I w-write," Subward’s initial stuttered greeting to Domella in Our Lives Unbound. God, what a masterpiece in intimacy and personal triumph, but that’s not what I’m reading right now. No, TLIG’s latest—String Theory—tells the poignant story of Geekward meets equally Geekerella, and I swear to God, this woman makes a pinky touch the height of hotness. Her writing is seriously ridiculous. I mean, who else can quote Quantum Loop Gravity and Gonzo lyrics in the same chapter and make it rock? The epilogue posted today, but I can’t bring myself to finish the story.

And let me close with a crazy little story that I’m proud to say was ‘Born’ in my FB group, aka, Born’s Pumpkin Patch, when a few of the sillier of my ladies started wondering about PizzaDeliverywards. Inspired by a picture of a pizza box as a Halloween costume (yes, a real pizza box and that is all), ladyeire3 took the plot bunny by the horns and combined it with her obsession for men in kilts, and thus, a fun new drabble was born: A Boy, A Girl, and a Couple of Kilts (ABAG&COK for short—well, not really THAT short). The lady has a fantastic sense of humor, as does our commando pizza boy in plaid. And the pictures that one can find…well, it boggles the mind, truly. I seriously doubt you’ll find another McKiltsterward in all of fanfic. Just remember, you heard it here first, folks!