Slash Guest Author Rec - Lou-La

I can’t even begin to express how honored I am to have been asked to write a guest recc for TU! I can’t, so I’m not even going to make an ass of myself trying. Instead, let’s jump right into it, shall we?

When I started thinking about what stories I’d like to recc, I was slightly overwhelmed by the fact that every single one that came to mind was Jasper/Edward, and extremely well known and popular. I know that Edward and Jasper are by far the most well received slash coupling, but I will be the first to admit they aren’t even my favorite couple in slash pairings!

Yes, you read that right.

I am definitely a Carlisle/Edward fangirl. But I really appreciate the more eccentric pairings as well, which is why I made it a point to recc everything BUT Edward/Jasper today. I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I have.

Nightfall by MySlashyFriend
Summary: On September 13th, 1987, Renée gave birth to William Matthew Swan. Seventeen years later, he moves to Forks. Original Character/Edward

Excerpt: Chapter 4- When he felt my eyes, he turned back toward me, again examining my face. He didn't seem particularly annoyed or shocked, the reactions I'd expect if he just heard me figure out what he could do. Instead he looked a little guilty.

"You're an asshole," I thought clearly and distinctly.

No reaction. He just kept staring, his jaw set, his lips drawn in a tight line. He looked really good. Every now and then it still hit me.

Feeling more confident, I took another deep breath and held it, then kept my face still.

"I wish you liked me."

Again, he didn't move, so I slowly let out the breath. Not a mind-reader, I concluded.

Dear Agony by TwiBoy
Summary: Emmett suffered a staggering loss following a car wreck. He struggles to heal and find closure with the help of the last person that he thinks would give it. Emmett/Jasper

Excerpt: Chapter 5- Once I'm under the covers, I lie awake, listening to the creeks of the house and the hoot of the owl in the tree outside the window. I refuse to look at the clock, because the fact that I can't fall back asleep is fucking depressing and knowing it's that much closer to daybreak will just serve to piss me the hell off even more.

I finally hear the sound of Jasper's bare footsteps coming up the stairs, and the groans and whines of the hardwood floor as he makes his way across the room.

Feeling the bed dip beneath his weight brings back the questions that have been plaguing me for the last month since my first physical therapy appointment with Edward. My mind is so desperate to wrap itself around something that's not Rose or Bella that I speak before completely thinking things through.

"I'm quitting Physical Therapy," I announce as Jasper gets beneath the covers.

He immediately stills before he asks, "Why? I thought you've been making progress. You rarely use the cane any more and you've actually been exercising. Why screw up a good thing?"

This time I think before I open my mouth. "I think I can just handle this from my own now. I know what I have to do," I reply.

"Not that that's not a good thing, but is that the real reason?"

I swallow hard a couple of times before answering. "Edward's pretty fond of you, and I know it wouldn't be quite ethical for him to be seeing a family member of someone under his care, otherwise he would have already asked you out. If I was no longer a patient of his, he would no longer have that problem."

Jasper's so silent that I suspect he's holding his breath.

Potential by Rosmarina
Summary: Edward Cullen, journalist for the college paper, has despised jocks since high school. What happens when he's assigned to interview Emmett McCarty, a decathlon athlete who challenges Edward's every stereotype? Emmett/Edward

Excerpt: Chapter 4- When he started moving toward me, I was the one fixed in place.

He crossed the room, fisted his hand in my shirt and tilted his face up to mine. I was tensed in an excruciating anticipation but my mind and body were in agreement. I'd put it all on the line, I'd come running over here, and Edward would have to close that last inch between us now to prove how he felt.

In those romance novels Rosie read there was always some kind of spark or electricity when the potential lovers eventually kissed. No, when Edward finally pressed his mouth against mine it wasn't electric, it was fucking kinetic. It was a triggered spring that set us both in perpetual motion.

He pulled; I pushed. He fell backwards onto the mattress and dragged me with him. I shucked his t-shirt off him and followed as he scooted towards the middle of the bed. I dipped my head to reconnect our mouths. He clawed my ass and bucked his hips against me.

My hand went to his zipper; his teeth clamped down on my neck. We rolled back and forth over the bed, wrestling each other's clothes off, mouthing, licking, biting. His hands dove down the front of my pants; my head snapped back against the headboard.

It was friction, gravity... momentum.

There was no stopping this.

Aberration by shoefreak37
Summary: Aberration: distortion, deviation, wandering. For centuries, Carlisle held fast to the plan he was sure had been laid out for him by a force much more divine than himself. After he takes Edward for a companion, the direction of his path becomes skewed. Edward/Carlisle

Excerpt: Chapter 8- Unexpectedly, Carlisle's face split into a wide grin, eyes travelling to his hands in his lap, his two perfectly straight rows of teeth making the right side of Edward's mouth upturn the tiniest amount.

"What?" Edward chuckled, Carlisle's sudden joy infectious. Carlisle's thoughts began flitting through numerous occasions on which he had sat outside of Edward's church, listening to the rich notes of the pipe organ as they filled the air, feeling the balm of solace that came along with the sounds.

Knowing that Edward plucked the memories as he thought them, Carlisle answered, "It seems as though you offered me comfort and companionship well before either of us knew it."

Edward reveled in Carlisle's musings, full of affection and gratitude. A tiny rush of delight circulated through Edward. Logically, he knew that Carlisle would never consider that something that had presented itself in Edward as something more, but he could not stop the hope that someday Carlisle would change his mind. For the time being, he pushed it down and filed that hope away along with all the other urges he had experienced since his turning. He would have to remain content with pleasing Carlisle in any way he could, survive off the small bursts of joy he experienced when Carlisle smiled.

"I will play for you as much as you desire," Edward said.

College Ruled by allryans
Summary: He spends his days in college filling up spiral notebooks with meticulous notes, feeling listless and uninspired, until he recognizes himself in the mirror image of someone impressively bold. Edward/Riley

Excerpt: Chapter 2- "Kate went to look for you in the bathroom. You ok, man?"

A choke. He wanted to speak, but instead, he nodded affirmatively. Then, "She didn't say she was looking for me. She acted like she busted in on me on accident."

"Did she, like, see you?" Riley smirked.

"No! No. I was at the mirror, just ... I don't know." He wanted to hide inside his own skin.

"Well, I think she's trying to hide her interest a bit. But she, um, saw your ... notebook, and I guess, decided it was ok or whatever."

There was an interminable pause. Kate had seen and so had Riley. And she ... what? The confusion must have shown on Edward's face, as he couldn't bring a thought to the forefront of his mind, much less out of his mouth. Finally he choked out, "Thinks it's ok?"

"Well, yeah, it's kind of written there in black and white, if you know what I mean ... I mean, you're interested, right?"

Something wasn't computing. Riley was too affected in his nonchalance. Edward looked directly into him and knew the reflection was all wrong. But, for the first time, he wanted to be transparent.

"Yes." Resolute. Firm. "I am. Yes."

Darkest brown fell for just a moment, and then steeled. "Well, then, what are you doing out here with me?" Too casual. Too forced. "Knowing Kate, you could have her against the wall of that literal shithole by now." Steel. Hard. Wrong.

His resolve faltered with the realization that Riley didn't see him, didn't see what was evident on his page, didn't know he wanted him in so many ways. That is, until he saw the shadow of his own disappointment cloud Riley's black, down-turned expression. Of course. Riley had to know. He was the astute one, the observant one. Kate had come to the wrong conclusion - that Edward's page showed his affinity for her - and voiced her assertions with characteristic candor. As usual, she was loud and sure, but she was mistaken. And just like every other time, Edward knew that Riley saw the flaws in her thinking, but this time, Riley had wanted it to be false too much to deny it. Edward needed to be the one to claim it this time.

Charming Beauty Bright by evilgiraffe82
Summary: Sometimes little epiphanies can be life-changing. Jasper/Jacob

Excerpt: Chapter 2- I watch him as he talks. His long legs are stretched out under the table, his mug of tea swamped as he holds it in one hand. His expression is gentle as he speaks of his mother and how she used to make cakes and he and Bella would fight over who got to lick the bowl. I envy him, that he can speak of someone he has loved and lost like this. He drains the last of his tea and sits up, looking right at me.

"I'm going to go home now. It was good to meet you, Jasper."

"Thank you." I think he knows that I'm not just talking about the tea.

I follow him to the door and he shakes my hand, folding his fingers around mine for a fourth time.

"See you again sometime. Take care." It sounds like both a hope and an instruction. I watch the lights of the little car until they disappear around the corner before I shut the door.

I go back into the kitchen to tidy up, but the sight of the two mugs on the table without coasters stops me. I look at Edward's chair, pulled out at an angle where Jake left it. No. It's not Edward's chair any more. It's just a chair. I smile, thinking of how cross he'd be at the potential damage to the table from the hot mugs. I decide to leave it all for the morning, turn out the lights and go to bed.

Say Something Else by vampireisthenewblack
Summary: When he suffers the worst kind of heartbreak, Edward returns home, resigning himself to a lifetime of loneliness. But he had not counted on old friendships and old crushes. Edward is torn between old love and new... Edward/Alec, Edward/Seth

Excerpt: Chapter 1- I looked closely at the photo on the card and then up to the face that leaned over the bar towards me, a wide smile showing straight white teeth. I looked down again, and then up into the big, innocent blue eyes. I studied him carefully, but I was already satisfied that the licence was legit, now I was taking the opportunity to check him out properly.

He started laughing. "See anything you like, love?" he asked, and my cock twitched at his London accent, his face, the cheekiness of him.

I blushed, embarrassed at being caught out, but I refused to get all stammery and stupid over this cute kid, so I put on my sternest expression. "You don't look twenty," I said, pointing at the date on the card in my hand. "Now if this said eighteen I might believe it, but twenty's a stretch. Come on, this isn't your I.D. is it?"

His lips parted, his eyes opened wide, and then he pulled his lower lip between his teeth and bit down as a gentle flush coloured his pale skin. "Wow," he breathed. "Say something else."

Wood (The One-Shot) and Wood (The Continuation) by algonquinrt and d0tpark3r
Summary: Single father Carlisle moves into a new house and finds more than he bargained for in his new neighbor. Edward/Carlisle

Excerpt: Chapter 1 (The One-Shot)- "It must have been difficult to uproot your entire life to keep your son close to your ex. You, uh, didn't leave anyone else behind?"

Subtle, Edward. Very subtle.

He catches on quickly, and rewards my bull-in-a-china-shop efforts with a huge fucking grin.

"No, Edward. I didn't leave anyone else behind in Washington. I haven't met anyone that I've wanted a relationship with since my wife and I split. There's something about meeting a man in a club that defies the possibility of a long-term relationship for me."

I'm sort of gaping at the fact that he came right out and answered my unspoken and totally fucking obvious question when I realize Jasper has returned with a soda, and is inhaling what must be his third piece of pizza. I haven't even managed a second bite yet, which is a damn good thing because I'd probably have choked, realizing that I pretty much hit on this kid's dad in the clumsiest way possible.

I glance over at him, praying to a god I probably don't believe in that he's got some deathcore blaring in his ears via iPod, but he's heard the whole thing, and rolls his eyes at us.

"Jesus, Dad, get a room. Quit eye-fucking the neighbor dude. He already admitted he was interested when he asked if you were seeing anyone back home. God, I hope I'm not this lame when I'm hitting on girls. I'll die a virgin if that's the case."

I spit a mouthful of beer all over myself, noting that this is the second shirt I've trashed today because I'm unable to drink and freak out at the same time. Maybe I should look into the use of a straw at all times.

Jasper grabs another two slices of pizza and takes off down the hall toward what I assume is his room, leaving me alone with Carlisle. Fuck. Maybe the kid isn't half-bad after all.

Carlisle chuckles. "I'd apologize for my son, because he's blunt to a fault, but he usually manages to cut right to the heart of an issue in a way I can't ever manage."

That’s all, folks! I hope you enjoy straying from the dynamic duo into some (potentially) uncharted territory. It’s been real...

Tuesday's Best 12-14-2010

Good morning, my lovelies. Hope today finds you in good health and even better spirits. It seems like the Captain and Aradi've been busy... Let's see what they've got for you this week, shall we? Don't forget to grab a towel and a change of panties before you go ;-)

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Is it strange that I joke far too much yet love to read the angstyfail stories?

Probably.  Whatever.

Someone out there has to be like me.  We can suffer together, fanning each other and sharing the box of tissues, soothing our woe with a little unf.

Today’s example of “dark and slash and dank” (the author’s words) is Incarcerated by Goldenmeadow.  This is a short Edward/Jasper ficlet in Goldenmeadow’s distinctive style.  The cherry on top of my dark/slash sundae is that it is AU.  The story begins with the arrival of Alice and Jasper, and Edward’s immediate attraction to half of the couple.

Learning, quickly, that Jasper could sense and warp the sentiments of others, I was bound and gagged and gagging by the idea that he had known straight away of my lust for him. Stripped down to a pyre of pure need, my keen, keening, corrupt want was plain to him.

Never disgracing me, never shaming me, not once causing me to feel foolish for my misplaced affections, Jasper was humble. The picture of a gentleman that shouldered a world of sensation capable of felling a lesser man.

But I didn't know what he was really thinking.

I wanted to be inside him, be inside of him. Be.

I had no idea what he was thinking.

This is what I mean by Goldenmeadow’s style.  It’s like reading poetry, which I usually hate.  (Perhaps I’d like poetry more if it contained more slash?  Hmm.)  This isn’t the kind of story you skim just to get to the happy fun times.  That will only make you trip over the wordplay.

So Edward wants Jasper.  Alice has Jasper.  The Volturi want... what the Volturi always want.  I won’t spoil endings, but this story comes with clear warnings not to expect a fluffstorm.  I loveloveloved the ending, which should be warning enough in itself.

Incarcerated is long-completed and only four chapters.  Curl up with an angst-loving friend, an adult beverage, and a thesaurus and try it for yourself.

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*eyes Nae* Don’t give me that look, Missy. I am sorry but it had to be done, now sit still and let me shower you with praises.

Hello my slashtastics...I bet you are wondering what crazy juice Captain Jezebel  has been drinking ( rum....the Cap’n always drinks rum ). Anyway that is besides the point; I know you guys just want to know why Nae is giving me the evil eye; the answer...two descriptive words that when put together evoke such delicious sexiness. I am of course talking about Red Velvet, Naelany's gift drabbles for Ahizelm’s birthday, and what a lucky birthday girl you are, Ang.

Red like fire, hot, fuck that...smoking hot, that is the heat at which these drabbles burn. Seriously they are enough to make you fan yourself throughout, and perhaps need some water. Fast paced and extremely sexy.

Velvety smooth, the connection between her Edward and Jasper, perfectly effortless. Nae has the knack for bringing us a pair of boys that we can definitely see the bond between. No matter how long or short of time they know one another.

Put them together and you have Red Velvet, which happens to be Edward’s radio DJ handle to compliment the rhythmic, sensual tones in his voice that earn him a following of lustful fans. Unfortunately for Edward most of his fans have been of the female persuasion, which isn’t exactly his flavor. This is until Jasper drops by the studio to visit his buddy Emmett, and also hoping to meet the DJ that keeps him up all night.

Reluctantly letting go of his hand, I smirk, automatically using my radio voice. "The pleasure's mine, I'm sure."

My grin widens in satisfaction as Jasper bites his lip, shifting slightly, a faint blush on his cheeks.

I wouldn't mind him throwing himself at me. Jesus...

Emmett puts a hand on each of our shoulders, eyeing us wickedly - knowingly. "So I was supposed to show Jazz around the station, but I think that job'll suit you better, Red. Whaddaya say?"

Hell. Fuck. Yes. I'll show him around, alright.

"I think that could be arranged."

My eyes linger on Jazz's eager gaze.

Does Edward give Jasper a tour of the studio and more? Does the tour involve a lap dance and scented body oils? Are piercings involved? Or do they perhaps get to know each other over bologna sandwiches? *shrugs* there is only one way to find out....read the drabbles dang it. I can guarantee you will love Radioward and his #1 fan, Jasper. If that isn’t enough to get you reading ‘Zipper’, ‘Gasp’ and ‘Succulent’ are just three of the yummy prompts she uses in this set of drabbles.

So give em a looksee and leave Nae some lovin if you to...*eyes Nae again*. Good girl...you sat still and took those complimentary words like a champ. *winks, and kisses cheek*

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There you have it, folks. I  will admit that it's a little strange to know that these wonderful ladies had a round of fisticuffs over lil' ol' me, and I want to thank them for being so sweet. 

Be sure to leave some love, and check back next week to see what Stolenxsanity and I have in store for you.

Tuesday's Best 12-7-2010

Good morning, my lovelies. How are y'all doing? I trust you're all being good...well, maybe not good, because I know some of y'all are more than a wee bit naughty at times ;-) The holidays are in full swing, or so the radio stations would have you believe - as well as the shops. 

Might I suggest you take a bit of a break from all the preparations and celebrations, and check out what Aradi and I found for you today. Don't forget to bring that towel, a fresh pair of panties, and some Kleenex! 

Ready? Let's go!

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Sweetp-1 loves me.  There’s really no other explanation.  She writes lovely, slashy stories, and she writes them dark and broody (and sometimes bloody).

Clearly, it’s true love.

I overlook her affinity for wolves (even barfbarfJacobbarf), because that is what you do when you are soulmates.  You overlook whether the other person is a boy or a girl or a (smelly) wolf or a vampire or someone who doesn’t understand that wolves are gross.  

Sweetp understands there’s only so much Jacob (gag) that I can take, so when she feels the irresistable urge to write more wolves, she makes sure to write plenty of Seth just for me.  She also overlooks the fact that I am a creepy stalker.

Love.  Clearly.

Fire in the Blood is her latest, and it is once again Seth and Edward.  It loosely parallels some events in Eclipse, but is a very AU world.  All the characters we know and love are there, but things are definitely not quite right, especially for Seth.

Sam had been good to him. Then.

Now, as the pain keeps coming, Seth wishes he had seen what a fuck Sam really was.

Because there's no escaping now.

When Sam threatened to kick him out of the pack, Seth knew there was an implicit warning.

There's only one way out of the pack; no one leaves alive.

Edward and poor, abused Seth meet during the preparations for the battle with the newborns.  It’s an inconvenient time to be figuring out what could be an inconvenient attraction, especially considering the eternally-inconvenient Bella.  

Seth is looking at him with a strange mix of longing and jealousy, but the moment he registers Edward's awareness he looks away again. The moment is so fleeting, Edward later wonders if he imagined it.

There's something about the young shapeshifter that makes Edward unable to put him from his mind. As the discussion around him continues, his gaze returns over and over to Seth's deep-brown eyes, the dimple in his left cheek, the sharp line of his jaw. It's not attraction, because...because Edward is attracted to females. To Bella. Bella is his girlfriend - she's going to become a vampire, when this is all over he's going to ask her to marry him. No, not attraction - maybe just curiosity, then. Why doesn't Seth hate him like Jacob does? Why wasn't he eating with the pack earlier? Why did Edward enjoy running with the sandy-colored wolf so much?

Fire in the Blood is dark and despairing, two things that warm my shriveled little heart.  It’s also quite violent, so consider yourself warned.  Coincidentally, the final chapter was posted this week (just in time for this review, because Sweetp and I are soulmates, obviously) so you can devour the tale in its entirety if you haven’t been reading along as it posted.

Leave Sweetp some review love, too.  She always looks so happy to see reviews, as best I can tell from my perch in the tree outside her window.

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You ever have those stories that seem to stick with you? Or that make such an impact when you read them, that you want to reach into the story and hug the characters and thank them, and then do the same to the author? Yeah, thought you might have those, too.

Conversed’s, I’m Listening is one of mine. Something about Emmett resonated with me. The way he describes the feeling of being alone, of being so out of depth you feel like you’re drowning and way beyond the capacity to reach out for help...

Emmett volunteers at a helpline, providing a listening ear to those who just need someone to talk to, someone to be there, to silently lean on. He volunteers there, because once upon a time, he was the one on the other end needing a sympathetic ear. He knows the value of listening.

I've been taught that when we listen, we're giving a gift. It took me a while to accept that, but it's true. When the caller cries or sobs or even fucking wails, we give them the gift of purpose. They're not sitting alone, drenched in misery; they're reaching out and sharing. For some that's not enough, but for most it is, and if it works like it did for me, it's so fucking cool.

The silent callers though, they're different and so much harder to manage than the rest. They don't share, so it's hard to listen. The temptation is to fill their sad silences, but that doesn't help. I struggle with the silence, I really do, because I was a silent caller once myself.

Knowing how I felt then, so far beyond sad that I can't even fucking explain, makes me worry for the quiet callers. Really worry. When misery steals your voice away and leaves you mute instead, when you need to say "help me" or "I'm sinking" but can only hitch a breath, you're in too deep. Isolation and seclusion can pull you down before you know it, like hidden currents and it's too easy to drown.

That heartbreak undertow is a fucking bitch.

You get to read about why Emmett ended up calling the helpline. How he ended up working there, later. How he managed to resurface after going under so many times. How he learned to grieve, and get through it.

Yes, I said grieve. Whether or not anyone died, that, you’ll have to read to find out.

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There you have it, folks. Another week with two fantastic recs to sink your teeth into. Be sure to leave these wonderful ladies some love after you've read their stories. And come back next week, to see what Aradi and Captain Jezebel have in store for you.

Slash Guest Author Rec - Shalu

Let's be real: I'm not really sure why Nae asked me to do this guest-rec thingamabob, but I am ever-so-honored to do so. That said, I apologize in advance, because my "to-read" list has become epic long. Like, The Odyssey long. It's been a while since I've been able to fic dive for some undiscovered gems. Sigh.

Still, I will share with you some of my favorites and most recent obsessions...

I am not a huge slash reader, though Miss Nae has sucked me in (snort ... I said SUCKED — why yes, I am perpetually twelve. And male. Why do you ask?) ... AHEM. So yeah, she sucked me in with her incredibly well-written, character-driven stories like At The Deep End, and her collab Marked. Thanks to her (and SorceressCirce, the other half of Whitlock-Masen), I was drawn into some hot Jaspwardness, and found myself in love with the characters. Both stories are fantastically told, and even when I want to march my ass across country and demand the next chapter so I can sleep, I bow to their prowess. They are magnificently well-hung. Wait, what? WRITTEN, I meant WRITTEN.

*Cough*

Okay, so a few stories I've been reading have recently completed, which is both insanely gratifying (please snicker here, and/or insert your own pervalicious comment) as well as heartbreaking. You know how it is when you are so invested into their stories. You mourn! You deny! You stick your fingers in your ears (you thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?) and yell "LALALALALALALALA!! I'm not listening!"

I digress.

The first I'll mention is Raw and Rosy. Honestly? I do not go looking for slash fics. How surprised was I when I just had to take a peek based on a teaser I'd read? Not only is it slash, but a spankfic!

One fateful day, Jasper's discovery of Edward's spank fetish sparks a D/s arrangement that left me panting. Mostly from Jasper's point of view, we do get treated to a glimpse inside Edward's head, which is equally fascinating.

Both are ridiculously smart — and hate each other. In fact, they get in trouble on a regular basis for getting into fights. You have to wonder ... is it like second grade when you don't realize that boy who keeps pulling your hair and teasing you is really trying to tell you how much he likes you? Maybe. Maybe not.

"I still don't like you," he stated, but his eye twinkled as he spoke.

"I still don't like you, either," I agreed. I refused to believe that all the hatred I had poured into our rivalry was due to something as asinine as unresolved sexual tension.

What I loved most about R&R was the stark shift of canon personalities. Both Edward and Jasper are pricks without pretense, and it's pretty awesome. (There's so many ways to take that, it's unreal.) They're above the abysmal social cesspool of high school, though Edward plays the game, riding out popularity until he can make his escape (and nailing every girl he feels like). Jasper doesn't even bother, keeping to himself not out of shyness, but disdain for everyone else.

Their non-sexual interaction is as engaging as the sex, too. They banter and needle each other, providing the right amount of laugh-snicker-giggles, but leaving plenty of room for some delicious tension (sexual and otherwise).

Edward wanted to make a scene. Well, I could make a scene. I was Jasper Hale. I got into fights. I talked back to teachers. I offered to fuck Edward Cullen in the lunch room. So, I did the only thing I could think of that would shock everyone, including Edward.

I laughed.

He looked absolutely ridiculous. He wasn't wearing a wig or make up. He didn't look a damn thing like a woman. He didn't have tits or hips. Other than the heels, he wasn't even trying to walk like a woman. He was just a guy in a dress.

"You make a terrible drag queen."

Incredibly well-written — regardless of the "Porn With Minimal Plot" disclaimer, Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnightis a delicious story and a fantastic character study beneath the repeatedly hot schmexin'. Seriously.

Also? One of the best first kisses in fic. For real. I tried to crawl through my screen and get in on that action.

Okay, so got a little wordy back there, so a quick rec for the nearly complete Edward Wallbanger by Feathersmmmm. Or, as I like to call it: The Tale of Pink-Nightie Girl, her neighbor, the eponymous Mr. Wallbanger, and the search for the lost "O." Hotlarious, well-written, with some of the hottest slow burn I've read. Great twists and turns, minimal heartfail, and lots of comic relief. But ... not much relief, if you get me. Gotta hold out for the payoff, but Good Lord, is it worth it. Fantastic turns by the rest of the Cullen crew, as well.

Another quick rec for a completed fic: Love in My Box by cosmoandmarvar. Nerdiest. Edward. Ever. Told largely through emails (at least through the first half of the story), Edward and Bella's courtship is sweet and quickly hot as hell. Emmett and foul-mouthed Rose also provide some excellent comedic fodder. Though, I take a slight exception with the hilariously depicted Jasper. It's so wrong, but so funny. Love this fluff.

Okay, so the stories I'm still clawing at the door for (aside from Marked and ATDE, of course)?

Grasping Darkness by KiyaRaven. Dark, vampy, and one sexy beast. It's like Twilight for adults. Edward is neither a virgin, nor that much of a gentleman. I mean, he's got some serious control, but it's constantly tested and always toeing the line. Bella is not timid, but fearless and everything you'd want her to be.

What's super awesome? The fact that not only does it follow Edward and Bella through their courtship (um, if you can call it that), but a murder mystery weaves behind them all, usurping the already bumpy road for the lovers and their families.

I can't say enough about this fic. It's uproariously funny, supremely sexy, and, like the title suggests, it has some darkness, too. And it is beautiful.

Lastly, I'll let you in on my love for crack. The crackfic, that is. Gynazole by my fic-wife, Mrs. The King. If you want to read a fic with absolutely no boundaries (and I really mean none), then read this. It is honestly laugh-out-loud, guffaw-wheeze, tears-dripping-down-my-face hilarious — if you have the stomach for it. Honestly. If you don't, you will be disgusted. If you're not a fan of toilet humor, you're in big trouble. Just warning you. Just take a look at the chapter names.

Each character is twisted so far, it has created its own little Gynazolic universe. I'm pretty sure MTK is trying to see how far she has to go to simultaneously offend and disgust people. Too bad for her, though, because the worse it gets, the harder I laugh — which is perfect, cuz laughs keep me sane.

Hey ... why are you all looking at me like that? O.o

xoxo
~shalu

Sneaking in...

Hello all! I thought I'd sneak in and say hi and give the place a new pretty. I am still around, just kinda playing in the background. I went back to work full-time and life got VERY busy around here, but I'm hoping to SLOWLY become more active in the community again soon.

I have to mention just how PROUD of Nae and the others I am. They have been so hardworking and creative and just truly phenomenal and I love each and everything they've done. I'm tremendously happy with all their work and I hope y'all love the new banner.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Hope you each have a beautiful holiday season.