Tuesday's Best 3-22-2011

Good morning, my lovelies! I trust today finds you healthy and reasonably happy. If not, then let's see whether the good Captain and I can do anything to change that for you ;-) We've found a couple of wonderful stories for you, so grab your towels and fresh knickers, and get comfortable.

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*Hugs and kisses* my darling slashies. I missed you, having skipped my last turn at recc’ing delicious slash; due to the insanity that is my life. I wanted to keep it light, fun and sexy to ease my way back into this. And what fucking better way to do this shit than with a sexy as fuck dirty talking Jasper? Exactly; I can hear your pulses racing already.


In ICMezzo's A Request Most Profane Edward is a musician, check that: Edward is a very expressive musician that often expresses himself with a slew of extremely colorful words falling in torrents from his beautiful lips. Never more than when his sexy boyfriend Jasper has his lips, tongue and hands all over him. And Jasper loves every second of it, getting extremely turned on every time Edward lets loose.

The problem?...Jasper is a little more reserved when it comes to talking dirty in the bedroom. His sweet hums and moans, are very welcome but Edward wants him to let loose if only just once. Jasper being gentile of tongue in his everyday speech is quite nervous about letting the naughty words spill. So Edward devises a plan to try and help him feel more comfortable saying such dirty words:

He grinned and handed me a small stack of index cards. Each had a word on it. I quickly realized I was holding a stack of nouns.

Some were relatively innocuous. You. Me. I. Stomach. Hair. Lips. Couch. Clothes. Tongue. Chest.

Others, not so much. Ass. Cock. Hole. Jizz. Dick. Balls. Cum.

It turns out Edward was holding the verbs. Lick. Pull. Suck. Fuck. Want. Come. Taste. Rip. Spank.

The list went on and on.

The biggest pile of all turned out to be adjectives. There were some definite winners in that pile. Sexy. Throbbing. Delicious. Tight. Hot. Sweet. Huge. Wet. Sweaty.

I tried not to grimace as Edward collected the cards back up in his hands and shuffled them a few times.

"Okay, I'm going to give you five random cards. All you have to do is make a sentence from them. That way you'll learn how to use the words, see? Oh, and you can add in little words yourself as needed, like 'to', or 'mine', or 'it'. It won't be hard, since you've got the words right in front of you. All you have to do is string 'em together," he explained. "I'll go first."

Oh yeah Edward went there. I do have to say that this scene is both cute and hilarious at the same time. I was giggling while reading, and thought it a sweet gesture on Edward’s part. However the game doesn’t seem to be going over so well with Jasper, and when frustration sets in and he storms out of the room, that is when Edward comes up with a better plan that may just have a more successful conclusion.

I could feel his warm breath dancing across my lips.

Yet every time I moved to kiss him, he backed off.

The minimal space between our mouths was making me slightly crazy.

I whined, after he'd moved out of reach another time.

He feigned surprise. "Yeah?"

"Stop teasing," I demanded.

"I'm not teasing. I want to kiss you so badly. But I want to know what you want," he explained.

I reached to pull him toward me, but maddeningly, he pulled away. I glared at him. "I want you to kiss me."

He did, but he kept his mouth tightly closed. I wondered what his problem was.

Before I could ask, he whispered, "Tell me."

I met his gaze, and he watched me intently, his mouth parted, his intensity proof that he wasn't teasing. "Tell me," he breathed again, leaning over me, our mouths almost-but-not-quite touching.

I swallowed, but the words came out about an octave higher than normal. "Kiss me."

Oh yes and things just heat up to a delicious sizzle from there. You do not want to miss the heat between these two adorably profane boys. Especially if you are one who is no stranger to cussing like a sailor *avoids everyone’s stare trying to look innocent*, or being a little shy with the dirty words in bed. There is a little something for every E/J lover in this sweet, fluffy and hilarious O/S. So take a peek, and remember to leave the author some loving if you do.

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*whimpers quietly as she shifts uneasily in her seat*

*clears throat and blushes* Oh, hi! Yeah, sorry about that. I just got done reading a fuckhot threesome that just... yeah. *clears throat again*

Anyway! What’s the name of the story, you ask? It’s Happy Birthday To You (and oh, a very happy birthday it is, indeed!), by luvrofink. It’s Bella’s birthday soon, and as you might expect, she dislikes celebrating it. However, this Bella is not like others you’ve probably come across.

Oh no. This Bella asks her husband for something very specific, and Edward always gives her whatever she wants. Three guesses what her wish is?

Yep. You got it. A threesome. With who, you ask? Why, with best friend, Jasper, of course! Yum!

Here’s a little sneak peek for you to errrr... whet your appetite, so to speak.

Bella gasped softly and her arms moved from her hair to wrap around my neck. With her nimble fingers in my hair I turned my head to find Edward across the room. His eyes were dark and hooded as he watched Bella grind her ass into my hard-on.

"Oh," she gasped quietly.

"All for you, baby. You don't know how long I've wanted this, wanted you," I groaned as she kept up the torturous rhythm.

Her movements against my cock were making it hard for me to concentrate. I gripped her hips, stilling her movements as I kept my eyes on her husband. He had leaned back against the table, his legs crossed at the ankles as he enjoyed the show. I smirked slowly, a lazy smile before I whispered to Bella again.

"Are you going to let us take you home, sugar? You gonna let us fuck you raw? I want my cock buried so deep inside your sweet cunt while Edward fucks my ass. Would you like that, baby?" I growled low against the shell of her ear.

"Oh, Jas," Bella moaned as she gripped my hair harder.

Her head fell back against my chest as I rubbed circles on her covered hip bones.

"Tell me, Bella. Tell me what you want," I demanded just as Edward pushed off the table to come to us.

"I want…I want that, Jas. Please," Bella moaned low as Edward moved to Bella's front.

He sandwiched her between us, his leg going between his wife's slightly spread thighs. I felt her shiver as he pressed his thigh between her legs, pushing against her center.

"Now, Edward. Please take me home," Bella whimpered as Edward leaned forward, ghosting his lips up and down her neck.

Yes, Edward, please take her... home, even. Whether he takes her or not, you’ll have to go read for yourselves. I’ll leave you with one last goodie:

"I'm just waiting for round two," she purred seductively.

So am I, Bella... So. Am. I.

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There you have it, two fuckhot stories to indulge in. Be sure to check back next week to see what Aradi and Stolenxsanity have in store for you. In the mean time, be sure to leave these lovely two ladies of this week's recs some well-deserved lovin'.