Monday, December 6, 2010

Slash Guest Author Rec - Shalu

Let's be real: I'm not really sure why Nae asked me to do this guest-rec thingamabob, but I am ever-so-honored to do so. That said, I apologize in advance, because my "to-read" list has become epic long. Like, The Odyssey long. It's been a while since I've been able to fic dive for some undiscovered gems. Sigh.

Still, I will share with you some of my favorites and most recent obsessions...

I am not a huge slash reader, though Miss Nae has sucked me in (snort ... I said SUCKED — why yes, I am perpetually twelve. And male. Why do you ask?) ... AHEM. So yeah, she sucked me in with her incredibly well-written, character-driven stories like At The Deep End, and her collab Marked. Thanks to her (and SorceressCirce, the other half of Whitlock-Masen), I was drawn into some hot Jaspwardness, and found myself in love with the characters. Both stories are fantastically told, and even when I want to march my ass across country and demand the next chapter so I can sleep, I bow to their prowess. They are magnificently well-hung. Wait, what? WRITTEN, I meant WRITTEN.


Okay, so a few stories I've been reading have recently completed, which is both insanely gratifying (please snicker here, and/or insert your own pervalicious comment) as well as heartbreaking. You know how it is when you are so invested into their stories. You mourn! You deny! You stick your fingers in your ears (you thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?) and yell "LALALALALALALALA!! I'm not listening!"

I digress.

The first I'll mention is Raw and Rosy. Honestly? I do not go looking for slash fics. How surprised was I when I just had to take a peek based on a teaser I'd read? Not only is it slash, but a spankfic!

One fateful day, Jasper's discovery of Edward's spank fetish sparks a D/s arrangement that left me panting. Mostly from Jasper's point of view, we do get treated to a glimpse inside Edward's head, which is equally fascinating.

Both are ridiculously smart — and hate each other. In fact, they get in trouble on a regular basis for getting into fights. You have to wonder ... is it like second grade when you don't realize that boy who keeps pulling your hair and teasing you is really trying to tell you how much he likes you? Maybe. Maybe not.

"I still don't like you," he stated, but his eye twinkled as he spoke.

"I still don't like you, either," I agreed. I refused to believe that all the hatred I had poured into our rivalry was due to something as asinine as unresolved sexual tension.

What I loved most about R&R was the stark shift of canon personalities. Both Edward and Jasper are pricks without pretense, and it's pretty awesome. (There's so many ways to take that, it's unreal.) They're above the abysmal social cesspool of high school, though Edward plays the game, riding out popularity until he can make his escape (and nailing every girl he feels like). Jasper doesn't even bother, keeping to himself not out of shyness, but disdain for everyone else.

Their non-sexual interaction is as engaging as the sex, too. They banter and needle each other, providing the right amount of laugh-snicker-giggles, but leaving plenty of room for some delicious tension (sexual and otherwise).

Edward wanted to make a scene. Well, I could make a scene. I was Jasper Hale. I got into fights. I talked back to teachers. I offered to fuck Edward Cullen in the lunch room. So, I did the only thing I could think of that would shock everyone, including Edward.

I laughed.

He looked absolutely ridiculous. He wasn't wearing a wig or make up. He didn't look a damn thing like a woman. He didn't have tits or hips. Other than the heels, he wasn't even trying to walk like a woman. He was just a guy in a dress.

"You make a terrible drag queen."

Incredibly well-written — regardless of the "Porn With Minimal Plot" disclaimer, Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnightis a delicious story and a fantastic character study beneath the repeatedly hot schmexin'. Seriously.

Also? One of the best first kisses in fic. For real. I tried to crawl through my screen and get in on that action.

Okay, so got a little wordy back there, so a quick rec for the nearly complete Edward Wallbanger by Feathersmmmm. Or, as I like to call it: The Tale of Pink-Nightie Girl, her neighbor, the eponymous Mr. Wallbanger, and the search for the lost "O." Hotlarious, well-written, with some of the hottest slow burn I've read. Great twists and turns, minimal heartfail, and lots of comic relief. But ... not much relief, if you get me. Gotta hold out for the payoff, but Good Lord, is it worth it. Fantastic turns by the rest of the Cullen crew, as well.

Another quick rec for a completed fic: Love in My Box by cosmoandmarvar. Nerdiest. Edward. Ever. Told largely through emails (at least through the first half of the story), Edward and Bella's courtship is sweet and quickly hot as hell. Emmett and foul-mouthed Rose also provide some excellent comedic fodder. Though, I take a slight exception with the hilariously depicted Jasper. It's so wrong, but so funny. Love this fluff.

Okay, so the stories I'm still clawing at the door for (aside from Marked and ATDE, of course)?

Grasping Darkness by KiyaRaven. Dark, vampy, and one sexy beast. It's like Twilight for adults. Edward is neither a virgin, nor that much of a gentleman. I mean, he's got some serious control, but it's constantly tested and always toeing the line. Bella is not timid, but fearless and everything you'd want her to be.

What's super awesome? The fact that not only does it follow Edward and Bella through their courtship (um, if you can call it that), but a murder mystery weaves behind them all, usurping the already bumpy road for the lovers and their families.

I can't say enough about this fic. It's uproariously funny, supremely sexy, and, like the title suggests, it has some darkness, too. And it is beautiful.

Lastly, I'll let you in on my love for crack. The crackfic, that is. Gynazole by my fic-wife, Mrs. The King. If you want to read a fic with absolutely no boundaries (and I really mean none), then read this. It is honestly laugh-out-loud, guffaw-wheeze, tears-dripping-down-my-face hilarious — if you have the stomach for it. Honestly. If you don't, you will be disgusted. If you're not a fan of toilet humor, you're in big trouble. Just warning you. Just take a look at the chapter names.

Each character is twisted so far, it has created its own little Gynazolic universe. I'm pretty sure MTK is trying to see how far she has to go to simultaneously offend and disgust people. Too bad for her, though, because the worse it gets, the harder I laugh — which is perfect, cuz laughs keep me sane.

Hey ... why are you all looking at me like that? O.o


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