Wednesday, September 15, 2010

When Fiction Comes To Life

Gay Family Values

I was smiling ear to ear while reading Over the Top by Starfish422  when a little teddy bear appeared that said “I love my Daddies”.   I watched Edward and Jasper battle serious illness and struggle raising one child and adopting a second in Lay Your Hands by OCDjen.    I laughed and it warmed my heart to watch through Cletus’ (the cat’s) POV as Jasper and Edward bring home their daughter in Southern Charm by meikela   I really enjoyed a star gazing camp out with Edward and Emmett and their two children in Shooting Stars by rosmarina. Currently I am reading about Edward and Jasper struggling to raise a new daughter while also battling PTSD not to mention additional strain and potential additional hardships that could be caused by DADT in Everything is Broken by blakeney

The common theme throughout all the above stories is Gay Adoption.  Several of the stories addressed the various options involved, and they addressed the legal implications as well.  As with most things in real gay life, societies tend to make things more complicated than necessary.
The options available for any childless couple are quite varied.   These can involve public agency adoptions, private agency adoptions, international adoptions, open adoptions, and surrogacy.
And…. If it weren’t already complicated enough, same sex adoption laws vary widely in every country, and many times vary widely in every state/province/territory/etc within a country.   For more information:

It seems ironic that any opposite sex couple, no matter how poorly qualified, can produce a child, while loving same sex couples can face many hurdles.  

What a sad statement about a society that automatically assumed that children would somehow be worse off if both parents were of the same sex?  I fail to see that logic when there are healthy single parent families, and when an opposite sex family does not always guarantee a healthy outcome? 

Shouldn’t every situation be regarded individually rather than making assumptions based on gender?

Fortunately studies have been conducted, such as the following that discovered that there is no difference in children raised by gay parents:

and this study that determined that children raised in a gay family did well in school:   

and this one actually shows that children raised in a lesbian household actually fare better than their peers:

Gay families can be so loving; they often adopt children no one else will.  In fact, it has been found that children are actually suffering because of unfair adoption laws.  

I stumbled upon a very brave YouTube family that is telling their story in the hope that they can help change the perception of gay families.   They are an amazing couple, just every day guys, doing their part to make the world a better place.  Bryan, Jay, Daniel, Selena:  

I highly recommend you subscribe to their channel - depfox.

I wasn’t the only one that stumbled upon them.  Documentary producers found them, and are turning their story into a documentary called “The Right to Love – An American Family” (grab the tissues):  

You can bet I will be first in line when it comes out early next year.

The couple has also produced several YouTube videos detailing their journey to become a family: Our Adoption Story   They provided valuable stories and resources that are very helpful to other gay couples.  

One uneducated myth is that children raised by gay families will be turned gay (just like all children raised by heterosexual couples are turned straight??)  Dan Savage, journalist and internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice columnist tackles that myth in wonderful Dan Savage style by telling his story:

Domestic Daddy blogger Christopher Nordquist attempts to shed light on the varying reactions he sees as a gay dad in his revealing and informative article:  Where Did You Get That Baby?

On the positive side, I do believe things are changing for the better.  Do you remember the old riddle about a father and son car crash where the father dies and the son is rushed to the hospital?   The head surgeon says “I cannot operate; he is my son”.  The riddle baffled almost everyone and was intended to show gender prejudices since very few people guessed the surgeon was the boy’s mother.   

This riddle was recently revisited and school children were asked the question.  None of the children were baffled at all!!  Most quickly answered “it was his mother”, and some even said “the boy had two dads”.   When I hear from the children, I have hope for the future.

And finally, guess who are expecting twins?!?!

Slash authors are bringing great awareness to their readers when they include the children.  Who are your favorite FanFiction gay families?   

A little addition from naelany:
Towleroad happened to have an article on What's A Parent? today, that I thought was appropriate. It gives some insight into what gay parents have to go through in order to become just that: parents. In the eyes of the law, that is. 

Thank you, lovelypenguin, for another awesome article.


Anonymous said...

I do love this segment of the blog :D

Anonymous said...

Loved this article. Thank you for spreading the word about issues that impact our GLBT communities. :)

Anonymous said...

I love this column. Thank you or the mention. <3