Friday, September 11, 2009

Twi Me Up Q&A - September 11th

Q. Do all submissives wear collars? Do they wear them all the time? What do they tell their friends?

A. The decision to wear a collar is between the specific Dominant and submissive. Some Dominants like to have their submissive wear their collar 24/7, some like to have their submissive wear one only during a session, and some don’t have their submissive wear a collar at all. The submissive also has a say in the matter. This kind of conversation is part of the initial discussions on goals and expectations. The partners agree on if, when, and what type of collar should be worn.

For me, personally, I have had Doms that didn’t bother with a collar. They knew I would do what was required of me without that kind of physical indicator. I had one Dom that required a session collar and a day collar. The session collar was a thick locking leather collar that I was proud to wear for him. The day collar was a black velvet choker with a small charm on the front. It wasn’t something that would be really noticeable to anyone else, but it reminded me constantly of him, as was its purpose. The majority of my friends, and none of my family had any idea of the chokers true purpose, they simply thought it was my favorite item of jewelry. They were correct, but could not have known why. If my Dom required me to wear a full leather collar during the day, I would not explain it. It would be no one’s business but mine and his.

Collars, wrist cuffs, or even rings do not have to be obvious for them to have special meaning to those in the relationship. Their significance lies in the bond that they represent.

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