Friday, August 7, 2009

Twi Me Up - August 7th

Q: My husband wants to tie me up, and wanted to know what kind of rope he should use?

A: The answer depends on a few different factors, actually:
- The experience level of the players involved
- The goal of the binding
- How comfortable you are with adult toy stores
- Your budget

The experience of the players involved
Different kinds of implements can be used depending on the players involved. You just starting out with your husband, playing a kinky game, may not use the same types of bondage gear as an experienced Dom and sub working in a playroom. You need to make sure that your set up is comfortable, meaning it doesn’t burn or chafe your skin, and that your circulation is unaffected.
If hubby is tying you to a bed or chair, you’re good with something like a bath robe tie, clothes line, climbing rope – something thin and flexible. Make sure to put some kind of padding (a folded washcloth for example) between your skin and the rope. Also always have a knife nearby so that you can be extricated quickly in an emergency.

You can also use bandanas, neckties, or cuffs. Remember that if you’re using standard handcuffs to use a chain around your neck for the key. You don’t want to have to call someone to get you out.

The goal of the binding
If your goal is something more complex, like a suspension, you’ll want to use slightly thicker ropes or padded cuffs. You don’t want the ropes to cut into your skin. Always be very careful with suspension and never leave the person who is bound unattended. You also need to test circulation regularly and don’t let play last too long – for beginners I would say no more than 15-20 minutes. Also – make sure that what you’re using to suspend the person from is sturdy enough to handle the weight. A standard drywall ceiling is not meant to hold an adult.

How comfortable you are with adult toy stores / Your budget
If you want to tie someone up, but you’re nervous about setting foot in an adult toy store or having that name appear on your credit card statement, you do have alternatives. Bondage can also become a very expensive hobby if you want certain types of equipment. If you’re just starting out, it doesn’t make sense to invest a lot of money upfront.

So, here are some retail store equivalents to get you through (i.e. Bondage on a Budget):

- Neck ties, bandanas, or clothes line

- Ping Pong Paddle (will give you a nice wicked sting, and a bonus – a pattern on the skin)

Nipple clamps:
- Clothes pins (the trick here for beginners is that you need to stretch out the spring first – pull the closed ends open as far as they will go, and hold until it doesn’t pinch quite as hard. Ready for something stronger? That’s why you have a whole bag to practice with.)

Spreader Bar:
- A wooden broom and two large screw in eye bolts. (Remove the bristled part of the broom and screw the eye bolts in at either end.)

Ball Gag:
- A plastic practice golf ball and a bandana (Generally practice golf balls have holes for aerodynamics – use them to thread the bandana and then secure behind the head. A bandana won’t cut into the skin as some other things might.)

- Use eye gauze to completely cover the eyes and then a bandana to hold them in place. You can also use a sleep mask, or two eye patches.

The thing to remember above all is that you only do this with someone you trust, and have confidence in. You also only do this with a willing participant. If your husband or wife doesn’t share your fantasy and doesn’t want to play, respect their wishes.

Remember, you can ask DefinatelyStaying a question by sending an email to – all questions are anonymous unless specifically stated otherwise in the email.


Whitlock's Girl said...

LOL! Loved the disclaimer! That's hilarious.

Tickled at the question. *snickersnort*

K said...

Fun Fun FUN! Love it!

Dizzygrl28 said...

Coffee & BDSM...I can't think of a better way to start my morning! Loved the column! Now, to wrack my brain for a question to submit. Hmmmm.....

twilightedtyler said...

As much as I liked the disclaimer, I thought Bondage on a Budget was priceless. Do ya think Martha might introduce a line of bondage accessories at the local Kmart anytime soon?

Seriously, great answers.

Ashley said...

Great suggestions! Every time I look at a ping pong paddle I will thing about being "paddled" now!


Eilyssa said...

Great stuff!!
Just a few extra comments people often forget to think about.
First you mentioned knives to cut the ropes in emergency... forget that... it's too dangerous because if the Top panics in an emergency (happens alot with unexperienced players) he or she is very likely to stab the bottom accidently. Using EMT safety shears would be a safe investment on that account.
Otherwise, if you're an inexperienced player, avoid suspension early on... take some classes on how to suspend someone safely..

Good luck to all

just always remember safety first

Whitlock's Girl said...

Thanks for the suggestions Eilyssa. I'm sure you're right about the knife/EMT shears.